How to make stylish excuses

'Beautiful people are sometimes more prone to keep you waiting than plain people are because there's a big time differential between the beautiful and plain" Andy Warhol. So true.


Even with the best will in the world sometimes you just won't make it. It is a myth that timekeeping is unstylish. But being supremely delayed is tardy, chaotic, ill manered and downright rude.

This handy guide will help you gauge the appropriate level of apolpogy:

• 0-20

   No excuse necessary. You have arrived.        What is the problem?

• 20-45

   Disarm irritated faces with compliments      and follow with casual apology, blaming        external factors. Ex: 'Oh how lovely to see    you all again. You look so well. Nightmare    getting a cab/traffic/parking isn't it?'

• 45 minutes-hour

   Vaguely suggest a day of exciting trauma,      but be careful not to elaborate, settle in          quickly and become absorbed in the              current conversation. 'What a day! You          just can't imagine. Oh well atleadt I'm            here, so what have I missed? Anyone else      have trouble getting here?. . .  and so on.

• One hour plus

   This requires show stopping entrance, but    it is no bad thing as it will remind                    evetybody that you are a special vreature      and can't be expected to keep to standard      timekeeping. As Marilyn Monroe once          said, ' I have often been on calendars but I    have never been on time.'